like most filipina girls, i went to an all girls catholic school. one of the things they emphasized was that premarital sex was vile and immoral. they also taught us about confession. basically after you confess you become a virgin again. so while premarital sex was vile and immoral - you can always depend on confession to re-virginize yourself. if that doesn't turn a girl into a believer - i don't know what will.
when a few friends of mine visited london, i introduced them to this cooking show that featured this hot chef. his name is aaron craze and he is a jaime oliver protege. aaron is very good looking in a jesus christ sort of way - specially his eyes. this is why i called him jesus chef. i told my friend - hey if you land him, jesus chef will show you what heaven is all about. i totally scandalized him with my jesus chef jokes. but no matter - there is always confession.
i know why confession was invented. it was invented because all the priests then hundreds of centuries ago were male. all they wanted to hear was 'bless me father for i have been a very, very bad girl...these are my sins....'
honestly it has crossed my mind several times - what would happen if i tried to do a confession in a voice like those women who work on phone sex lines? i am sure i wouldn't be the first to have tried.
sometimes i do wonder about this whole is God a He or a She? my catholic programming makes me go on auto pilot with using He/Him but for all I know He/She could actually be gay and may actually prefer instead to be called Diva. THE Diva. Which of course He/She really is. I mean isn't the fact that photos of the universe are always tinged with a purple and pink haze against a black sky dotted with sparkling stars a clue?
we have to concede though whoever stood in as model for His/Her/THE Diva's picture as we know it now had an amazing head of hair. and perfect five o-clock shadow. good job to whoever the casting director was.
i know you are either laughing at this or shuddering at my irreverence. my total comfort with the whole thing is exactly the point. my God understands the humor with which i am dispensing all this with.
in fact, He's probably laughing thinking there she goes - exactly as i made her.
as to those who will contradict me, it doesn't really matter. if thinking i have the horrifying humor of someone whose been inbred makes you happy then go ahead.
all i know is no matter what, my God loves me. incidentally you mother effing haters, He/She/THE Diva loves you too.
unconditionally.
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