Rant-i-sode 1.0

it's a friday night and instead of going out to drink with friends, i decided to just head on home. i had a healthy dinner of broccolini and chestnut mushrooms with oyster sauce. and my ubiquitous bowl of honey cheerios eaten without milk. i also stood over the packet of snickers on the kitchen counter, listening to the chocolate bars snickering at me 'you know you want me, you KNOW you want me' and me chanting 'i can resist...i will resist...' an hour long bath, jammies and into the bed with my laptop. and i can still hear the fucking packet snickering all the way from the kitchen.....yes you damn snicker bars...i WANT you like i WANT clive owen but it doesn't mean i'm going to have you.

once upon a time there was a woman who always ordered only ceasar salad in every restaurant she ate in. she had virtually eaten every version of it available - with grilled shrimp, with iceberg lettuce, with bottled dressing, with freshly prepared dressing, with grilled chicken, with romaine lettuce, with and without croutons, tossed in a wooden bowl, tossed in a glass bowl, with garlic, without garlic... you name every version of it and she had eaten it. ceasar salad. that's all she ever ate. the weird thing is that, she always wondered at the other stuff that people ate. and why they enjoyed eating them so much. she even said she was envious at the stuff that other people ate and sometimes jealous that they were enjoying all different sorts of things. when asked however to try other things, she always said no and proceeded to order ceasar salad yet again.

hey - if all you ever want to try and eat is ceasar salad, don't wonder why ceasar salad is the only thing you know.

i keep thinking about someone who i recently met and keep wondering at the reasons why we met. i tell myself there is never such a thing as coincidence. ralph waldo emerson said 'two people who are destined to meet do so, apparently by chance, at exactly the right time'. i love that line because it hints at the magic of two people meeting - and not just romantically but that every person we meet on this earth is a magical moment. i keep wondering why. it is never apparent to us why we meet people, sometimes it comes later, sometimes never. this one....i am waiting to hear why...because it felt magical when we met and i am sad if the story of how we met has met its end.

cheetos. i am desperately craving cheetos. and cheese flavored doritos. and sour cream and onion pringles. i am desperately craving the ones made in the states because they taste the way cheetos and doritos and pringles should. full on sodium shock. the ones here in london taste like sawdust - i have never tasted blander junk food in my entire life. bland junk food is the worst in the world. when you eat junk food like cheetos, it should rightfully taste like you just ate five years worth of salt in one packet all in one satisfying go. and end up with your fingers coated with cheese powder that you lick off after you lick the wrapper of the remaining powdered cheese dust. otherwise, what's the point? please God...someone, anyone ship me some cheetos. and cheese doritos. and sour cream and onion pringles. and while they're at it, tell them to include poppycock popcorn with almonds and skippy super chunky peanut butter. i swear my kids will be allowed all of these as much as they want. sodium authorities - go stuff it. sodium - i want to be full of it.

the five building blocks of essential nutrition for women's health and happiness: salt, sugar, fat, bags and shoes.