Bitch Humor

i've always been leery of disneyland and mickey mouse. even when i was a kid. the only ones i ever really liked from disney were the villains. i remember watching sleeping beauty at age 5 totally unimpressed by the princess - if i had the vocabulary then i would have called her a fucking dipstick.

i thought however the witch queen was FANTASTIC. she was glamorous, wore a giant crown, exuded power and had incredible presence. princess sleeping beauty was lame - she should have been kicked in the head while she was sleeping. she would've woken up retarded which would not have made any difference because she was retarded to begin with anyway.

back to mickey mouse and the happiest place on earth. WHO IN HELL IS HAPPY EVERY SINGLE MOMENT ANYWAY?!!! wait, i know - the perpetually stoned that's who. which leads me to believe that mickey mouse is on drugs. i mean, if i were a mouse forced to wear nothing but red underpants for the whole duration of my 120 years on earth, i'd be on drugs too.

and snow white? the disney spin doctors conveniently covered up the fact that she was really an albino. who lived with 7 dwarves.....if they looked anything like gimli did ...yikes! it gives me the creeps thinking about an albino princess who lived deep in the woods with 7 versions of gimli...

and mulan. she's the poster child for the cross dressers and tranny wannabes. 'who is that girl i see, staring straight back at me. when will my reflection show..'

ok for someone who really isn't into disney, i've spent too much time on that topic already. obviously i won't be the first to take my kids there but listen, MY kids wouldn't want to go there either if they turn out to be anything remotely like me which is highly likely.

hey its a sunday and i'm waiting for the sun to show. it better show up soon - or its next on my list. after disney.