Jagged Little Pill

is the album of my life.

i know every lyric of every song - well almost. including 'your house' which was a hidden track in the original CD pre-Ipod days.

when it first came out, it officially became the anthem album of all the angry, angsty, depressed and vengeful. i guess the janis joplin pop equivalent of my generation.

'hand in my pocket', 'you ought to know' and 'ironic' were constantly on repeat in my head.

then i got into psychotherapy, got medicated a bit. the same way we go through music depending on what's going on in our life, the album was relegated to the bottom of my CD pile.

i completely forgot about it. then ten years after it came out, alanis re-made the cd completely re-doing the arrangements using an acoustic approach.

i didn't know what to expect. when i bought it, i stared at the packaging for some time trying to recall how MUCH I LOVED this album. strangely, i was frightened a bit remembering how incredibly angry i was with myself and with life when i loved this album so much.

except at that point, i wasn't angry anymore.

it took me a few days to unwrap the CD and when i finally summoned up the guts to listen to it, i realized alanis had grown up with me.

the acoustic arrangement gave the lyrics a whole new feel. it was as if, the angry woman gave way to someone who was wiser.

it was a world of a difference - those two versions. its like two different women: the first was someone who just discovered her power and was enjoying inflicting it on every person. the second was someone who finally recognized that real power is acceptance of the fact that occasionally we will be powerless, but it will be alright because, as with all things in this life, good or bad, everything will eventually pass.

when a woman is 25, she rages and demands for the world to accept her on her own terms. when a woman is 35, provided she has learned to live a little, the woman has accepted herself on her own terms and no longer gives a damn whether the world feels the same way.

that is the difference between the two versions of both albums.

or maybe, in the absence of anything better to do, i am trying too hard to justify why this album just won't quit my playlist. ever.